10 simple steps to build self confidence

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10 Simple Steps To boost self confidence

Begin on Day 1 and return each day for the next step in your self confidence boosting action steps.

Accountability action steps will be assigned before each assignment. 

Just post your response in the comments section at the bottom of this page.


Day One:

Who Am I?


Child-girlHave you ever looked in the mirror and immediately started noticing all the things that are wrong?
Maybe even calling yourself some pretty hard names?

For me, this was once a recurring episode that I worked very hard to overcome!

Today’s challenge for you (and me) is to use that mirror for another purpose.

The best place to do this is in a well lit room, like the bathroom. It’s best to start with your face only.

  1. Don’t fix yourself up first, what you are after is a deep and unconditional respect for your true, inner self.

  2. Start by smiling. Not one of those timid, not quite sure of yourself smiles, I mean a great big one. Smile so big your face hurts.

  3. While you are smiling, tell yourself that you are wonderful, and that you matter. What you do, say, think and feel is important.

That’s all there is to it.

This may feel awkward, even strained the first few times. If so, that is all the more reason to do this often!

You can put a little (or big) sticker on the mirror so you remember to do this often, especially on those bad days when you might be a bit too hard on yourself.

Come back tomorrow for the next exercise!

Day Two:

How did the mirror challenge go?

Before beginning todays challenge, please post a comment below and share your highlights with the mirror challenge.

Doing this often will slowly build up your self esteem and make it normal for you to know that you are enough!

You are the most trusted person in your life!

Today, we are going to use a very simple gratitude practice.
No matter how bad things may seem, or how bad they may actually be, you have at least 3 things that you know are blessings in your life.

The trick is to notice these things and focus on them, even if it’s only for a moment.

  • So, right now while this is fresh, get a piece of paper and a pen and write down 3 things that you know are blessings in your life.
    You can even let your artistic side out by using your best scripts, a colorful card or whatever strikes your creative side.

  • It doesn’t need to be fancy, you can always make it pretty when you have time. For now, the important thing is just to write them down and put your attention on them.

  • Focus on the reasons these 3 things make your life pleasant.


  • Keep the note next to your bed, or taped to a mirror, or anywhere else you will see it often.
    I keep my list next to my bed so I can remind myself in the morning and evening that my life has good things in it.

  • You can change out the list, make it longer or really fancy it up if you feel creative. The main intention is to give yourself a few minutes every day to focus your attention on these good things that you are blessed with.

Come back tomorrow for the next exercise.

Day Three

Its day 3 and it still isn’t taking more then a few minutes a day to begin your practice of building self confidence.

It doesn’t happen overnight, but be persistent.

The results will amaze you as you continue appreciating the wonderful person you are!

Before beginning todays exercise, please take a moment and share one thing from yesterdays gratitude list in the comments.

 Today is very special!

 You are going to make a date with yourself.
This is special because its just about you, tailored to your specific pleasure.

  1. Give some thought to things you enjoy doing.
    -Do you like going to the movies, spending time at the library, hunting bargains at the flea market?
    -Maybe there is an art gallery, or new exhibit at the zoo.
    -Is there a craft show, bazaar or festival going on?
    -It could be a trip to the spa, a massage, anything that comes to mind

  2. Make a list of these things you would enjoy doing.

  3. This is something you will be doing by yourself and for yourself.

  4. Now, choose one thing that is reasonable to your circumstances. This is not a binge or a shopping excursion, its a date for some pleasant time you can enjoy by yourself.

  5. Next, decide when you will do this.
    Make a date.
    Put it on your calendar/schedule.
    Use ink.

  6. Check the details.

  7. What to wear, how much it costs, how to get there.
    If you need a babysitter, set it up.

Put as much thought into this as you would if you were doing it for someone you really care about.

If any guilt or shame comes up, dismiss it immediately!
Remind yourself that it is not wrong to give yourself the gift of alone time, spent doing something you enjoy.

You do matter and you are worth the effort!

Come back tomorrow for the next challenge!

Day Four
It’s day 4!
You are starting to see some results!
Even if there is some resistance, you know this is a good thing to be doing for yourself.

So far, you have begun to notice that you are valuable and important.
You have things to be grateful for.
You are special enough to plan and schedule a date with yourself.

These things may seem small, but they become very empowering over time and with practice.

Before moving on to the next exercise, please leave a comment. Let us know what your ‘date’ with yourself is going to be. When is it going to happen and how do you feel about it.

Today may require some deep, inner work.

Have you ever made a mistake? We all have, but some of us have a very hard time letting it go.

Think about it, how many loved ones in your life have made mistakes that you forgave them for? Some of them may have been pretty serious, but you chose to forgive them anyway.

Today, you will forgive yourself for one thing that you keep beating yourself up for.

The thing is, we try to do the right thing and sometimes it doesn’t work out. We cannot go back in time or undo it.

There is a part of us that wants to let it go, but guilt and shame that may have nothing to do with that particular mistake may be causing the trouble.

Sometimes, misplaced guilt and shame attaches itself to us.

It causes us to feel fear, even panic when we think about a mistake we made, and prevents us from analyzing it in a rational way.

So, think about one thing that keeps causing you to feel angry at yourself. Start small and make it easy for this one. You can address the larger mistakes when you get stronger.

Don’t shut it down, think about it as if your child or friend or loved one had made that mistake.

Imagine yourself forgiving them for it.

Not too hard, right?

Now, forgive yourself for that thing.

Surround the guilt and any negative self doubt attached to it with a billowing white cloud. Watch it float away.
Take a few minutes to enjoy the release!

Let it go.

If it comes up again, imagine the cloud and let it go.

Enjoy the release and savor how it feels to be a valuable and fragile human being, one who is worthy of forgiveness for their mistakes.

You are enough. You are beautiful, strong and worth the effort!
Come back tomorrow for the next exercise!
Day Five

Today is day 5. Congratulations! You have reached the halfway mark.

You are awesome for taking the time and making the effort to boost your self confidence practice!

It is okay to give yourself some credit.
This is emotional and maybe even exhausting, but just remember that you are worth it.

Before moving on to the next exercise, please share your victory in forgiving yourself! It’s not a confession, just share how you felt to practice this ‘letting go’ experience!

Today, you are going to de-clutter something.

It should be something small.
We all have those cubbyholes around the house, the car, or the office that we seem to barely notice.
It’s that feeling of “I really need to clean this up. Umm, I will do it later”.

But, later never seems to come!

For many of us, its that all or nothing thinking that makes us believe we have to tear down the entire room in order to ‘get to’ one small space!

It’s time to get out your paper and pen again.

  1. Make a list of 3-5 little areas that are a mess. For me, its a few things that tend to get neglected, like my jewelry box, or glove compartment.
    It could be a junk drawer or shoes in the bottom of the closet, maybe a bookshelf or the top of the washer/dryer.
  2. Once you have your list, pick one thing. Yes, Just one.
  3. If you have time, do it now.
  4. If this isn’t a good time, set a deadline and commit to getting it done today.
  5. This is the reason for making it small.

It should only take 20-30 minutes to complete
These ‘small’ areas get overlooked because they seem unimportant.

Doing this even once a week can be very gratifying and provide a sense of well being much larger then the size of the job!

Once it’s done, give yourself a reward!

Have a leisurely cup of tea and share an image of how nice it looks on social media.

People enjoy positive shares, get some love and some likes out of it!

(share the link to this series with your image, I could appreciate some love myself 🙂

Remind yourself today: You are awesome!

Come back tomorrow for the next exercise!

Day Six

Welcome to Day Six!
Be sure to include one or more of the preceding exercises each day to build and maintain a strong sense of self esteem building confidence!

Before moving into the next exercise, take a few minutes and share your de-cluttering experience. What did you choose and how did you feel after it was completed?

Give yourself some well deserved credit!

Time To ShineSometimes, we get so focused on our lists of things to do that we fail to acknowledge and credit ourselves for our accomplishments.

Today, you will list 3 things you have accomplished in the last 30 days.

They can be big or small, it only matters that you completed 3 things that meant something to you.

  1. Choose one thing from the list.

  2. Take a moment to consider the effort and planning you used to complete it.

  3. Remember that brief moment, when it was done.
    You know, that moment before you hurried up to start the next thing!

  4. Give yourself 2-3 uninterrupted minutes to enjoy that feeling.

Don’t stop with this one time!
Make it a habit to celebrate your accomplishments as you go.

The dopamine and serotonin that are released when we relive joyful moments are powerful and important, especially if we suffer from a lack of confidence or self esteem.

Can you agree with me that they are at least as important as those bad hormones released when we beat ourselves up for falling short?

Did you smile big in the mirror today?

I will see you tomorrow for the next challenge!

Day Seven

Life is chaotic and busy at times.

Before we go on to todays exercise, share your accomplishment that you acknowledged yourself for yesterday. it’s a good time to give and accept some love and acknowledgment for yourself and others!


Weekly Self Care with INTENTION

Maybe its been months since you last had a hot soak or long, relaxing shower. We sometimes tend to rush through and neglect our ability to live in, and enjoy the deliciousness of simple, everyday pleasures!

It is gratifying to our emotions and beneficial to our bodies when we take 30-45 minutes (or more) a week for some skin care and pampering.
If we are neglecting this important practice, it’s time to do something about it!

Skin care and pampering is an easy combination to use for reducing stress and improving our skin health at the same time.

Let’s do some pampering!

  1. Take a look at your calendar or planner.
    It is a nice thing to plan for the evening, but whenever works for you is perfect.

  2. Block out enough time each week for this activity.

  3. Make a list of supplies you will need
  • Choose a sound track of relaxing music to play.

  • A candle can add a soothing light for your senses and help you to relax.

  • Do you have a loofah, sugar scrub or other type exfoliating method?

  • How about some scented sea salt or bubbles?

  • Be sure to have some good quality lotion and maybe even a relaxing, scented oil to apply after.

  • While you are enjoying this few minutes of self care, be sure to let go of any random thoughts wanting you to think about other things. Immerse your entire mind and body into this session and allow yourself to simply enjoy it!

If you are strictly a shower person and truly cannot relax and enjoy a soak, adjust things to make this about skin care and relaxation in the shower.

Take your time and focus on how cleansing and beneficial exfoliation and lotion is for your skin.

Enjoy the process!

See you tomorrow!

Day Eight
Today is all about connection!

Before beginning this section, tell us in the comments how your self care session went, or what you have planned for it, and when.


Have you been procrastinating about connecting with someone you love?

 We all do it, we have the best of intentions.
Maybe its a sibling or an aunt or grandpa.

This person is important to us, but we never seem to find the time to have a simple, meaningful conversation with them.

The problem with this is the feeling of guilt we experience when we have forgotten or decided to put it off, again!

Today, we are going to choose this special person and call them.

It’s okay if they don’t answer or have a busy schedule themselves. This call is about setting up a time that is good for both of you.

It can be a lunch date, a phone conversation, face-time or Facebook video, chat, messenger, or whatever you come up with together.
You might even get lucky if both of you are available for this call!

Once the time and date is set, treat it with a sense of anticipation, priority and intention.

Think about the things you want to share with them and the things they may want to share with you.

Make one of your intentions to really listen and respond to the things they talk about. Another intention is to be assertive about the things you want to share with them as well.

It doesn’t have to a long drawn out chore, just enjoy it for as long as it feels natural.

When it’s time to close, tell them how much you enjoyed the conversation and be firm, but gentle about ending it.

Afterwards, be sure to spend a few minutes reliving the highlights of the conversation.

Try to set up a connection like this at least once a week. You might be surprised at how your self confidence rises with this simple activity!

Enjoy the connection and fellowship!

See you tomorrow!

Day Nine

When is the last time you had a good, hard belly laugh?

Did you know that this kind of laughter releases a cascade of beneficial feel good hormones?

You guessed it, leave a comment telling us how your conversation went with your loved one, or if and when you were able to schedule a time to chat with them.

Laughter IS the best medicine!

Don’t just take my word for it, try it!

Its called ‘Laughter Yoga’ and is actually a skill that you can look up on Google and find lots of information on.

For now though, we are just going to do a short and easy exercise using the principal of laughter.

You may feel a bit ridiculous the first time you do this, ( I did), but don’t let that stop you!
Once you feel your mood lift, you just might be hooked!

  1. To start, take a deep breath and expand your belly.

  2. Now, smile big and start laughing out loud, with enthusiasm!

  3. Keep it going until your belly is flat again and all your breath is gone.

  4. Inhale to your belly and repeat.

  5. Do this 3-5 times in a row.

Just try to wipe that smile off your face when you get done!

This is a great exercise to do when your energy is wearing thin, or when you are feeling stressed out.
It only takes a minute.

Come back tomorrow for a great final exercise in this series!

Day Ten
You are such a wonderful person!
Some of us have a difficult time accepting compliments, we may tend to shrug them off or say something negative about ourselves to minimize our embarrassment about being singled out and praised.

The funny thing is, we may feel equally awkward about giving compliments as well.

It is not uncommon to feel like people will think we are kissing up or being untruthful, even though we know for certain that we are sincere!

The only way to overcome both sides of this awkwardness is to start doing it!

First though, share how your Laughter Yoga experiment went in the comments section below.
Did you feel silly? Did you continue smiling for at least a few moments after? Did it improve your mood?

Today, we are going to find the perfect opportunity to pay someone a sincere and honest compliment.

 If you hesitate too long or miss the moment, don’t worry. Another one will come available soon.

When you give the compliment, pay attention to how the person responds.

Do they shrug it off, ignore it, minimize it or simply say thank you and maybe add a short comment about it? Try to remember that their reaction is all about them, not your compliment.

Start using the positive reactions that you notice as a way for you to use when accepting them yourself. Imitate the grace you find attractive in others. It will become a natural reaction to complements that you receive over time and with practice.

This is part 2 of the heal your inner child series.

Enjoy this beautiful Guide that you can download and use as a handy visual reference to the 10 Steps simple steps to boost self confidence!

Printable Graphic PDF Guide-Free


Please leave a comment below and share your experience with 10 simple steps to boost self confidence.



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